Hamstring... hmm ham...

This year I decided enough was enough. I was going to train. So far I've been extremely jammy in my cycling, as in all I could fit in on the best of weeks was 10 hours of training due to work and college commitments. I still got by and I always wondered if I actually dedicated more time to my fitness how far could I take it. Now I had all the free time in the world and every day was an opportunity to get better. Since the end of February till April I had gone on 7 cycling camps. Mainly track cycling and one week in Majorca early on in the season to add the final touches to my endurance with 5 to 6 hour spins a day. I would cycle over to Catherine's house, which is over the hour to get there and take her out for 50+ plus miles and then make the journey home minimum of once a week.

All my focus, all my training was aimed for the Manchester Paralympic World cup, 20th May. The week before the final touches were applied over at Alkmaar velodrome, Holland and I was flying it. I got re-selected to be the main pilot. The work, training, turning up to races exhausted and putting myself through the pain, the diet, the gym, everything was finally coming together. I was ready. We arrived at Manchester and the day before our 1km TT while pulling the tandem up the banking something went snap in the back of my right thigh. Just like that... Saw the G.B. team sports doctor and the choice was; compete and there would be a 50/50 chance of doing further damage that would render me off the bike for up to 6 weeks or compete and nothing will happen but we'll do a bad time because of the pain I will feel. That night the Irish management rang the second selection pilot, she was flown in the next morning and all the Irish records I had previously set with Catherine were broken.

Now I knew the Irish records were going to be broken by us but since that has happened I feel like everyone is looking at me and wondering why I got the job when this brand new girl came along as a pilot and smashed the records. The comments have been said to me to back up this feeling...

My motivation has taken a serious nose dive! All that for what feels like nothing. To be honest, at this moment in time, I feel like I have given all I can to paracycling. I've given up my own individual success (that's if I would get any!) to pursue and help and train with another girl, the paralympian. I'm not a paralympian. Also the national track championships are coming up again this year in mid-July. As previous years I have competed in both the individual elite female category and tandem category on the day. Due to a clash I was unable to do the sprints which I rule at and the individual pursuit. I got silver in the scratch and I'm pretty sure if I wasn't doubling the events gold would of been possible.

So I think the writing is on the wall for me regarding how I feel. I've given it my all and now I think it's time to concentrate on my own results, not a paralympian's who at the end of the day gets the glory.